a painful return
by arranmore13
Summary: What if tony and ziva were married when she left. and what if she came back after over a year
1. Chapter 1

I leave the elevator and walk into the bullpen. I'm super nervous after all it has been over a year since I saw my husband. I turn the corner and the only two people there are McGee at his usual desk and a strangler from the graveyard shift. Everyone else appears to be late. I cough to let Tim know I'm hear. He turns to me and his face turns from questioning to confusion and to shock in a matter of seconds. Then he says something I never thought I'd hear him say, he says " You have a lot of balls coming here after what you did to Tony, and if you're smart you'll get the hell out of hear before I do something we'll both regret" Thats when someone asks Tim if he's alright. I turn around to see a short blonde setting her bag on my desk. I don't know what did it but something snapped in me. I lunged at her trying my hardest to kill her. My only words were " that's my desk." Next thing I knew I'm being pulled off her and suddenly i turn my head and the hands let go of me. The man I'm looking at is just as shocked as I am. He looks at me and then I say something along the lines of it's been a long time. He just glares and says " 1 and 1/2 years and all you can say is it's been a long time." Then he just looks past me to McGee and asks "did you know she was here?". Then he's asks the blonde girl if she was alright. That's when Gibb's walks in and see's me. He takes one look at me and before I can even say anything says your spot on the teams no longer available. I rush to the one place in the building I know I have a friend.

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><p><em>This is something I was thinking about and i just started it. so please let me know what you think.<em>

_Arranmore13_


	2. 2

_Hey Guys I know Its a long time coming but i was super busy with school and I've had other stuff to deal with but Im back now and I hope you like the new chapter._

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><p>I ran and ran and just kept running until I reached the one place I knew I would still have a friend. I didn't stop running until I reached Abby's lab. I walked in and the first thing I noticed was that there wasn't any music playing. Abby always played music. Then I saw her she was looking at me with a look of pure disgust.<p>

I started to apologize but she cut me off. She said, " I'm more pissed that you didn't say goodbye than what you did to Tony. As much as he played the victim, I know he let you leave. If it hurt him that much he could have told you that and he could have gone with you. Instead he came here and wallowed inn self pity. That's on him not you. What is unforgivable is you not saying goodbye to me." She turned around and went back to work. I stood there in shock.

I walked out of the lab and walked down to the morgue. Even if Ducky was mad at me at least he would still listen. I walked into the morgue he was standing there as if he knew I would come down. I looked at him funny as if asking why. In response he said Abby had called him to say I was coming down. He looked at me and asked the one question I was dreading, He asked "Why?".

I said, " Why what? Why did I leave? Why am I back? Why did I attack that girl?" and then I just stopped talking. He looked at me and said " lets start with why did you leave?". "I Just needed a fresh start to much of my life had been about violence to much of it had been death and I couldn't escape that working here." " So why come back?"

In my mind I'm thinking, " should I tell him? Will he understand or will he pity me? He'll have the same look as the doctors in Israel. I can't tell him." Through all this though I decided not to tell him. In the end I just told him " I just needed to apologize to my friends."

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><p><em>Like I said before I really am sorry its been so long. I hope you liked the story. I know the grammar is probably screwed up in some parts but please comment on the story and any ideas you have not the <em>_grammar. I know I need a beta so if any of you are interested please let me know in a PM or a comment. If you have any suggestions on the story please pm me or comment asking me to pm you. Thank you for reading._

Signed Arranmore13

Shalom


	3. update

OK Guys Im sorry that this isn't a new chapter but I'm stuck i know where I want this to go and Ive got a few ideas and id like you guys to help me pick.

1. Ziva Talks To Tony.

2. Bishop Finds out whats wrong with Ziva

3. Ziva trys to apologize to Abby

4. Ziva Talks To Gibbs

Review with your vote please.


	4. Chapter 3

I leave autopsy and make it back up stairs when my nausea makes its first appearances of the day. I bolt to the bathroom thinking no-one was in there. I didn't realize that the blonde girl, Bishop that was what Tony called her, was in one of the stalls. She knocked on my stall door to ask if I was alright. I prayed that she would just leave and forget about hearing me but she didn't instead she crawled between our stalls and saw me. I could tell as soon as she saw me she knew exactly what it was and why I was back. She asked me how long I had. I told her 6 months at the most. She asked me why I came back.

_Flashback:_.

Im in the doctors office because I've been feeling under the weather. As soon as the doctor came in I could tell it was bad news. "Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma" that was what they said I had. They said because i put off coming in for so long the most they could do was extend my two or three months to five or six. I knew that if I was going to die I needed to apologize to my team, no my family because even if they never forgave me they needed to know what I meant to them.

_End Flashback:_

So I told her. I told her everything about why I left and why I came back and how much the team ment to me and she just sat there holding me as a poured my heart out to her and i thought to myself in another time or another life she and I could have been friends


	5. update 2

HI. Sorry it took a few days to get that chapter fixed but it should be up now and thanks for letting me know. signed arranmore13 


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